My life mission in one sentence would be

My life mission is to wake up knowing that I actively made an effort to be mindful of myself at all times.

The reason this is my life mission is simply that I am too hard on myself. I have lived a life full of experiences, and I have accomplished almost every single thing I have set out to do. And yet here I am, worried and panicked over when it will be my turn while also actively self-sabotaging my life with procrastination. At the same time, I recognize that my issue isn’t even self-sabotage but not knowing how to rest and be still. I have always had to work just like most poor children and adults. I attached my self-worth to my employment and schooling ( I still do, unfortunately), yet I have a moment to truly rest and know peace, and I am not handling it well.

I am being mindful that as a young, black, depressed, poverty-raised, trauma-induced, autistic woman, I deserve rest and peace. Not because of any of those attributes but because I am human. Having rested for the past two years didn’t even feel like rest because, after a few months, I instantly jumped into a 3rd degree that is very intense. On the other side of that, this is the first time in my life that I did not have to work multiple jobs or make money in some way for my family, and that has significantly shown in my grades, health, and relationships with myself and others. I started a business, and I battled my depression for most of it. This is now a wake-up call to myself. TO get help, to be helped, to be helpful, and to know it’s okay to “fail” as long as I get up and do something that makes me whole and happy. Honestly, this journey to greatness and mindfulness has been wild, adventurous, and peaceful.

And I know I said a whole lot up there that doesn’t sound too happy and positive. I can honestly say for the first time in my life; I am truly and genuinely happy.